I’ve Become So Numb

Day 79

Before today I had no idea who screamed, “I’ve become so nuuuummmmbb” in the Jay-Z/Linkin Park collaboration “Encore/Numb.” I just know the youthful abrasion and angelic tantrum that vibrated through my headphone speakers was awesome. I could feel every word as if it was suddenly my own. Heavy but uplifting.

Today I found out that musical gift came from Chester Bennington. I also found out that today — after a life-long battle with depression — he hung himself. His life was a heartbreaking one filled with sexual abuse and bullying. I didn’t realize the heaviness in those vocal chords was earned through pain no person should have to experience.

It’s hard to celebrate the voice knowing where it came from. Today I mourn the story behind the voice and the countless others that go untold.