After State of the Union, Many Americans Left Blinded By Extremely White Congress
WASHINGTON, DC —Tens of millions of Americans tuned in to watch the president’s first State of the Union address this past Tuesday night. While some viewers may have found themselves annoyed by the president’s policy proposals, others found themselves uncomfortable for nonpolitical reasons. Every year during the televised speech, researchers estimate that approximately 42 million Americans are temporarily blinded after being subjected to the bright reflection of a nearly all white Congress.
Scientists call the condition Congress Is Too White Blindness or CTWB for short and it usually lasts for several days. However, in the most extreme cases, CTWB can last for weeks. University of Michigan scientist Dr. Christine Baldwin claims that CTWB primarily affects people of color. “Because of various current and historical social policies, we still live in a very segregated society. Many people of color are not necessarily used to seeing hundreds of white people so close together in one room making decisions that drastically affect the lives of people they know nothing about. It is literally blinding.”
While the number of people suffering from the disorder fluctuates from year to year, experts project this year will be one of the worst in recent memory. “At least when Barack Obama was in office viewers would get some relief from the extreme whiteness of Congress as cameras would primarily focus on the first black president’s brown skin,” said Baldwin. “However, it’s clear that orange is not the new black because we’ve found that President Trump’s orange skin and platinum blonde hairpiece is more aggravating to people of color’s eyes than even the whitest of presidents,” continued Baldwin. This also explains why Ben Carson — a well-known person inflicted with CTWB — is often found squinting near President Trump.
As the country becomes more racially diverse, a greater percentage of Americans are people of color and thus susceptible to CTWB. Despite these statistics, Congress remains overly white. To combat the spread of CTWB, many researchers and healthcare professionals are now advocating for a more racially diverse Congress. Some have even gone so far as to push for a Congress that is racially representative of its constituents.
And it might not be just the racial composition of Congress that’s blinding. Scientists are beginning to suspect gender might play a role too. “There’s no doubt Congress is not only predominately white, but also predominately male. The more males there are, the higher the likelihood you’re going to have shiny bald heads in the crowd and that can be incredibly blinding,” claims Dr. Stephanie Campbell of the University of Southern California. Campbell and others have become so concerned about the affects of CTWB due to gender inequality that they’ve made well publicized arguments that Americans might be better off if women were fairly represented in Congress too.
Still, the general consensus in Congress is that the concern over CTWB is overblown and many refuse to fight for research funding. “I’ve never experienced it, so I doubt it’s a real thing,” said Joel Stevens, a white Congressman from Minnesota.
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