66 Days

Day 57

I heard it takes 66 days to make something a habit. I hope so because that would mean I’m only 9 days away from permanently making writing daily a habit. You know what’s crazy?

9 days seems really far away. It doesn’t feel like this is a habit ingrained in me. Not yet. Honestly, over the past few days I have contemplated skipping days — or stopping the challenge. I’ve missed the midnight deadline twice this week, but have kept myself from falling asleep before I get out my 100 words. It’s funny, after 57 days my urge to stop has never been stronger.

Perhaps this will make it worth it. Perhaps this is a pivotal moment that I must push through. Perhaps it’s not. Nothing in my being wants to continue to write. Now that I know what that feels like, I’m curious to see what not giving up will do. I’m curious to see what’s on the other side of this apathy and laziness. I’m curious because I don’t usually know. I’ve given up on things in the past at this point. I know this point well. It’s the “what’s the meaning?” or “why even bother?” point.

It’s the “this is hard and kinda boring and I’m not sure if it matters!” point. This is the “who am I kidding?” point. This is the “I’d rather just sleep/eat/watch Netflix” point. If you’re experiencing this point, come with me, let’s see what’s on the other side of it. I’ve heard great things. But if there aren’t great things at least we know that for ourselves.